Archives for category: self-image

Advertisements

http://www.rotatingcorpse.com/dear_diary/please-dont-promise-me-forever/3027.html

from smartstorming-blog.com

Innovation has become the benchmark of success, particularly in the current business environment. Companies in every industry are stepping up their efforts to become more innovative in the way they work, communicate and produce the goods and services they sell. But with such an objective, the obvious challenge becomes, how to identify the individuals within an organization who possess the greatest potential to innovate.

While everyone has the innate ability to engage in creative thinking, there are seven common traits that innovative leaders like da Vinci, Edison, Henry Ford and Steve Jobs share; seven traits that propel them to think outside the confines of conventional wisdom and imagine breakthrough concepts that change the way you and I live and experience the world.

The seven traits of highly innovate thinkers are:

1. Curiosity
Curiosity is the first step toward discovery. It is the “beginner’s mind,” a deep, child-like sense of wonder about the world, the relationship between different things and how things work.

2. Imagination
Before you can develop a new idea, you must first be able to conceive it, to envision the very possibility that it could exist. Innovation is fueled by leaps of the imagination, making novel new connections between seemingly disparate ideas, concepts or objects.

3. Intuition
Making decisions based on facts and figures is fine in many instances. But true innovation is more often born from that internal “knowing,” the guiding force, sixth sense or gut feeling to follow one’s instincts, no matter how unconventional or illogical the direction.

4. Inventiveness
The ability to change the status quo requires an inquisitive passion for “tinkering.” Innovators possess the desire to arrange and re-arrange ideas or things in new and different combinations.

5. Playfulness
It is when you get “lost in your work” that amazing things begin to happen. Time, self-consciousness, seriousness and any sense of limitation falls away, and challenges are handled with ease. The attitude of playfulness is, “Everything is possible.”

6. Flexibility
The capacity to suspend judgment and embrace two (or more) seemingly contradictory or unrelated viewpoints at the same time helps create a dynamic tension that ultimately stimulates creative resolutions (solutions).

7. Persistence
All the creative talent in the world is of no value if you give up before the work is done. Persistence, the passion, willpower and enthusiasm to overcome setbacks and discouragement, allows innovative thinkers to keep trying new possibilities until success is achieved.

Of course, there is no secret recipe for innovation. It requires an ongoing commitment on the part of an organization and the individuals within to relentlessly pursue new, better ways of doing business, and to never accept anything less than the best possible outcome. But these seven key traits are an excellent starting point for building your innovation foundation.

Start to recognize the individuals around you who naturally possess these traits, and encourage them to make frequent use of them. And nurture these traits in others who aren’t as naturally inclined. Acknowledge and reward creative thinking, responsible risk-taking and questioning the status quo. And in no time you will have fostered a thriving culture of innovation which can lead to only one thing: greater success.

Also: check this out: http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/2009/09/27/100-ways-to-develop-your-mind/

Found this on Brazen Careerist. good read

Many things people strive for are actually byproducts of what the real goal should be. But by focusing on the byproduct instead of the goal, the desired byproduct is ever elusive.

Let’s look at a few examples:

Happiness

The real goal is finding activities you’re passionate about and consistently engaging in them.

That definition skews towards work, but consider spending time with people you enjoy being around an ‘activity’ and it can encompass romance and family time.

Becoming “Networked”

Lots of people want a big network, full of powerful influential people, but if you focus on that is the end goal it’s probably not going to work out very well and you’ll come off as very insincere.

Having a large, powerful network is the byproduct where the end goal is helping other people, building relationships or trying to make an important vision happen that others can get behind.

Making Money

Making money is a byproduct of focusing on creating value.

If you focus on making money, you might end up making a lot if you’re very driven, but if that drive was applied toward how you could create the most value, you’d make a lot more money.

The one caveat with making money is that it only captures the economic spectrum of “value”, but a lot of people are working on how we can measure other kinds of currencies and make them more fungible so that in addition to financial capital we can measure things like social capital and emotional capital.

Confidence

I can’t become more confident by saying to myself, “C’mon Max, be more confident”.

Confidence is a byproduct of being really good at something, which is only obtainable through practice and repetition.

Though often people can practice and practice and not improve. That’s why people will tell you, “practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.” While that’s directionally correct, a better answer is “practice in pursuit of perfection will allow you to increasingly approach perfection and achieve excellence”

Conclusion

The list goes on and on of things that many people try to achieve directly but are actually byproducts: Enlightenment, Love, Creativity, Status, Success, etc. etc.

It’s not wrong to want byproducts, but they are not things we can get, in the capacity we want, by focusing on achieving them directly. Byproducts are the rewards we get for living our lives the right way.

And by recognizing how byproducts break down into corresponding end goals it becomes clear there are no short cuts. When we care about other people, other people care about us. When we create value for others, we are rewarded financially. When we do amazing work, we gain respect. To live a rich life where we are happy, financially abundant, surrounded by amazing people and confident in our own abilities, requires cultivating curiosity, persistence, self-reflection, self-discipline, compassion, character, drive and many other esteemed traits.There is truth in the words that our external reality is a manifestation, or a byproduct, of our internal reality.

I encourage you to look at the things you want, and figure out what’s a byproduct and what’s the actual end goal that you should authentically commit to.

Quiet Confidence
by tammie renea

Quiet confidence means…

Rather than scold myself for my imperfections,
I accept them and realize my ability to change them.
Accepting my own imperfections also allows me to accept those of others.

Quiet confidence means…

Rather than mentally and emotionally “sleeping” through each day,
I choose to be fully awake…
to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings, attitudes,
and the effects they have on myself and others.

Quiet confidence means…

I am becoming aware of and choose to nurture my own talents and gifts,
both to fulfill my own life and to give something of myself to the world.

Quiet confidence means…

I am willing to acknowledge the deep down pain and fear that keep me “stuck”.
It means that I am willing to take the humble “baby steps”
it often takes to move myself forward.

Quiet confidence means…

Rather than beating myself up,
I will forgive myself when I fall back into my “old” ways
of negative thinking and behaving.
Doing this also allows me to be more compassionate and understanding of others.

Quiet confidence means…

I think for myself.
I ask my own questions and seek my own answers from sources that I consider reliable. 
As I learn, I use my new knowledge in positive ways.

Quiet confidence means…

I am not a “people pleaser.”
I do not carry the fear of rejection and abandonment
which would keep me from being myself.
This also helps me allow others to be themselves.

Quiet confidence means…

I make judgments through compassionate eyes.
I am not blind to injustice.
I am patient enough to allow the truth to come into focus,
and I am willing to take action whenever necessary.

Quiet confidence means…

Rather than avoiding judgment and criticism
by living within the safety of a tight cocoon,
I accept my responsibilities and my gift of freedom
by emerging and spreading my wings to fly.

Quiet confidence means…

I take full responsibility for my mistakes,
as well as for my accomplishments. 
When I make a mistake,
I humbly make amends whenever possible.
When I accomplish a goal,
I respectfully share my success and tuck it inside my heart.

Quiet confidence means…

I know I can only change myself and set goals for myself. 
I cannot change others to meet my needs or wants. 
I learn to meet my own needs and to fulfill my own wants,
therefore avoiding false expectations and resentments.

Quiet confidence means…

I do not accept abuse of any sort from myself or others;
nor do I abuse myself or others. 
A harsh tongue only hurts, never heals.  
Physical punishment only reaps fear and resentment.

Quiet confidence means…

I appreciate the gifts of body and mind.
My spirit is the life of me which dwells within my flesh.
I care for my mental and physical health
without comparing myself to others
or setting unrealistic standards.

“In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength”
Isaiah 30:15

Give others the same amount of leniency you lavish on yourself. People aren’t out to get you. They’re having a bad day or they weren’t raised with the right manners. Stop taking it personally.
get off your high horse, but learn to love yourself.

Be conscious of your anger and what is causing it. Anger often blinds our minds to the real root of what is bothering us. We often flip out at the closest target or the most recent trigger of our anger, when the underlying cause of the anger is deeper or lies somewhere else. You must develop the strength to be able to sit with your anger and sort through it. Once you can rationally examine your anger, you can find the root cause and address it. Part of what makes us so angry is not truly understanding what is pissing us off. Think about when a plane is delayed. When no reason is given for the delay, people get more angry than if a legitimate reason is cited. Understanding the reasons for your anger will help you defuse it. You can then rationally, but assertively rectify the situation.

You must settle in your mind the fact that the nature of life is frustrating and chaotic. When things fall into place, that is the true deviation. Dispense with your unrealistic expectations for life and you will find it far easier to roll with the punches.

intensity … hustle … energy … passion…focus…concentration

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
–Aristotle

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
–Sir Winston Churchill

“Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential. “
-Barack Obama

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“I’ll work to the point of exhaustion.”
-Kobe Bryant

“Dawg, you aint a nigga til u beat some niggas up. u feel me?”
-Jun Kwon

“no jesus, no peace. know jesus, know peace.”
-anonymous

do things of epic proportions

The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. the sheer number of experiences i could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and i’m sitting here freshing my inbox. we live trapped in loops. reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. we see the same things each day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. we act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. 

and no, i don’t have all the answers. i don’t know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. but i do know one thing: the solution doesn’t involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday easing my fit into a mold. it doesn’t involve tempering my life to better fit someone’s expectations. it doesn’t involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up. 

sometimes things are gonna suck, but it’s never the end of the world.
take control of your life and don’t give it to others.
listening to others tell you waht they would do is of no value to you – it isn’t them who’s doing it, it’s you and only you can do waht’s right for you

CHALLENGE CONTROL AND CONFIDENCE

maybe it won’t work, but even if you don’t get the result you’d hope for, you’ll be an experience richer and that certainly isn’t a waste of time or anything you’d need to regret. think about how rayne would deal with a challenge. learn from ur experiences.

Believe in yourself and know that you did the best you knew how at the time, even if later you saw a better way. 
the world is a loud place. embrace the silence.
If you need people outside of yourself to validate you in order to feel good about yourself, then you’re giving away your control. It may feel good when others believe in, trust and support you; but if you want to keep your control, realize that you don’t need anyone but yourself to validate who you truly are.

Are your efforts to be in the here and now taking you out of the present?
I confess that there is something perverse in my nature. Whenever I hear someone presenting an idea with unusual conviction, and I sense even a little anxiety in it, perhaps revealed in excessive passion or the need to convince, I consider the opposite. For example, people often tell me how important it is to be in the here and now, and so I entertain the value of being in the there and then.
I understand the point in being present to whatever you’re doing, but the idea of being present takes you away from simply being present. It becomes a program and an ideal. To be really present you may have to stop thinking about being present.
So, let me say it publicly: From now on I will not be concerned about being in the here and now. I may frequently wander into the past and into fantasy. I want to be present to memory and imagination as much as to whatever is going on around me. In fact, if we ever meet, you may notice that I’m not present much at all. I’m the kind of person who easily walks into telephone poles and forgets what I just said or what I intended to do, so lost do I get in the rich world that is not visibly present.
Maybe this means that I’m not such a spiritual person. So be it. For me, it is not as important to be spiritual as it is to be.
Be more aware of the effect you have on other people. The more you respect them, the more respect you will get back. Respect their worth, their time and values and you will find they will respect yours.

Once upon a time there was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail in the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. But gradually, the number of daily nails dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the first day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He proudly told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry’, the wound is still there.”

Recently, I’ve found a calling to come back to blogging. Myriad of thoughts swim through my head and I need to write them down before I forget. Recently, I’ve been thinking more and more about who I am. When I am with family and my cousins, I become relaxed, and I am able to be myself. I speak my mind – humorous, easy going – without care of what others think about me. Yet, for the most part of my life, I am quiet, reserved, and in my opinion boring. I feel like this “side” of me consumes my interactions with people, my work, and ultimately my life. Obviously, this cannot happen and I hate this quality of mine, so I need to do something about this. How do I just let go? I’ve heard that you just do it, but it’s difficult. I guess nothing good is easy.

So I was thinking about who my role models are. Obviously I have those highly successful role models that help shape millions of other human beings, but the ones that I want to talk about now are of a much lesser fame. When looking back, I think the biggest role models I’ve had have been intelligent, easy going guys who just don’t care about what other people are thinking. they do what they want to do and ultimately seem happy. they care about their friends and they care about the state of the world, yet at the same time they seem detached enough that they like to have fun and poke fun at their friends and themselves. I want to be like them. The two that come to mind are Drew and Justin.

These guys just seem to know what they want and know where they have been. They may not know exactly where they are going but they know what they want to do in the future. hey have a firm sense of themselves and what it takes to live a full life. I too don’t really want to focus on living a happy life. one can live a very happy and safe life, but I want to live a full life. Pursuing every option, connection, choice and opportunity will provide a full life in which I have lived. I want to live – travel, observe, analyze everything to the fullest. it’ll be tough but its time to start

I read this article in the November 2008 issue of Men’s Health. I really liked it.

The Value of Personal Authenticity
May the Most Authentic Man Win
If you can draw one lesson from presidential politics, it’s this. The key to success–in relationships, in work, in life — is to know who you are
 
By: Danny Strong

Just be yourself.
It’s the most common piece of advice we’re given in high-pressure situations, from first dates to grand-jury testimony. (Beware if the former leads to the latter.) Never is this advice more applicable than in the almighty job interview, during which you have approximately 15 minutes to convince complete strangers that they should change your life.
 
But what if your job interview lasted 18 months?
 
That’s how long a U.S. presidential campaign goes on these days, and in a delicious twist of fate, we the people are the prospective employers and the powers that be are the applicants. There can be only one winner, and the person who lands the coveted position is usually the one who is able to just be himself.
 
That’s right. The most authentic man wins, no matter how great his flaws.
 
There are no better examples of flawed but authentic candidates than the two most recent U.S. presidents, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. Both were astute campaigners who overcame huge personal hurdles by the sheer force of their likability and charming personalities. In Clinton’s case, tales of extramarital affairs hampered him from the beginning: A tawdry tart named Gennifer Flowers should have sunk his ship back in 1992. Salacious disclosures like hers would have been career enders in campaigns past — just ask Gary Hart. So how did a man with an apparent desire to bang every cocktail waitress who brought him a mint julep end up as president of the United States?
 
Simple: Bill Clinton never pretended to be morally superior. He never preached family values. Had he tried to, the charming womanizer would have been labeled a hypocrite — and as Eliot Spitzer would be first to testify, the American public really hates hypocrites. First and foremost, the people want a person, not a politician, and if that person happens to love chasing skirts, that’s fine, as long as we know that’s who the man is.
 
After the 8 years of Clinton’s presidency, when even an impeachment brought on by his rabid libido couldn’t deflate his popularity, we came to the 2000 candidacy of George W. Bush. Long before the hanging chad came to symbolize that election, two very different men were campaigning for the job. One was an uptight, wooden boy genius named Al Gore; the other was an easygoing Texan, a former beer swiller who never met a sentence he couldn’t mangle.
Now for a job as important as leader of the free world, you’d think smarts would trump likability. After all, a man who says “you’re working hard to put food on your family” would not make me feel comfortable if he were running a smoothie shack, let alone a nation. And yet Bush was able to beat the brainy Gore (more or less).
 
Given Clinton’s popularity, the 2000 election was Gore’s to lose. So where did Albert Jr. go so wrong? There was always a personal restraint to his campaign, a fear of coming across as elitist, intellectual, not of the people. Instead of worrying about how not to come across, Gore needed to just be himself. I’m referring to the funny, relaxed, self-deprecating man who showed up to concede the election to Bush on December 13, 2000. Or the man of intellect and passion we met nearly 6 years later in a 1 1/2-hour documentary about the environment.
 
Had the Al Gore of An Inconvenient Truth run for president, I bet he would have won by a landslide. This Gore was insightful, wise, engaging, and likable. It took a science class about his most cherished subject for the true leader within him to emerge.
 
Still, Bush didn’t win only because Al Gore fizzled. Where Gore struggled to find his voice, Bush sang like a eunuch hitting a high C. He knew he had some weaknesses in the Department of Smarts, so he made that shortcoming part of the campaign, often making jokes about the way he mutilates the English language. Much like Clinton not trumpeting values, Bush didn’t pretend to be a Rhodes scholar. His persona was that of a religious straight shooter who told it like he saw it. He was selling his gut instinct and bravado, and since he had those in spades, the American people gave him the job.
 
The Democratic Party’s authenticity problem persisted during the 2004 presidential race. Its candidate was a decorated Vietnam veteran who later protested the war. That was what I liked most about John Kerry: Not only did he have the bravery to go and fight, but he also had the courage to turn against the fight. But John Kerry the candidate wanted to tell us only half of the story. During the campaign, he rarely mentioned his activist days–he was too worried about alienating the people who resented Vietnam protesters, especially because he was running for the presidency during a particularly bloody period of the Iraq conflict.
 
So Kerry sold himself as a decorated soldier, opening his acceptance speech at the convention with a corny salute and saying, “Reporting for duty!” This wasn’t John Kerry; this was half of John Kerry. During a flap about him throwing away his war medals at a protest rally, I wanted him to scream, “They’re my medals! I’ll do whatever the hell I want with them!” Instead, we heard him say he didn’t throw the medals, he threw the ribbons. Brave? Courageous? It sounded more like Bill Clinton parsing “is.” Clinton got away with it because we knew he was covering up his affair — we’d already accepted him as an adulterer. Kerry had no free pass, and so the authentic good ol’ boy from Texas received more votes.

The most authentic candidate from the past 8 years didn’t even make it to the general election in 2000 or 2004. I’m talking about the maverick senator from Arizona named John McCain, who ran against Bush in the 2000 primary. That McCain rode around on a bus called the Straight Talk Express, and straight talk he did. He ripped the leaders of the religious right as “agents of intolerance.” He pushed for campaign finance reform and sensible tax policy. He was that rare politician willing to buck his party. Moderate Democrats like me swooned.
 
Unfortunately for the maverick, authenticity in the primaries isn’t as important as playing to your party’s base, and McCain’s independent ways were too much for the more conservative elephants of the GOP.
 
Early in this year’s presidential campaign, we saw a very different John McCain. The former maverick was pandering to the exact people he used to attack. He reversed himself (dare I say flip-flopped?) on tax cuts, affirmative action, and offshore drilling. He even sought support from the people behind the Swift Boat campaign, people he publicly attacked for smearing John Kerry’s war record. It was as if the Straight Talk Express had been abandoned on the side of the campaign trail, replaced by a McCain Segway that turns whichever way the electorate leans.
 
The shift worked in the short term: McCain won the Republican nomination. But he did it by undercutting his biggest strength: a long record of independent thinking. That’s who he is, and that’s what he needs to be selling.
 
And so he shifted his persona again in August, just before the Republican National Convention. He picked Governor Sarah Palin, essentially a complete stranger, as his running mate: Yeah, that’s something a maverick would do. At the same time, his pick was clearly designed to appeal to the GOP base. Very smart. The result: a huge post-convention bounce.
 
Of course, McCain is up against a formidable foe. First-term senator Barack Obama defeated the Democratic Party’s most famous figure (and her husband, too) in one of the biggest upsets in American political history. And he did it by dripping with authenticity.
 
Yes, Barack Obama’s speeches are eloquent. More important, they’re direct, sincere, and passionate. He’s not afraid to tell the NAACP that the African American community is going to have to take more responsibility for itself. Comments like that put him in hot water with the outspoken civil-rights activist Rev. Jesse Jackson, who remarked (thinking his mike was off) that he wanted to cut Obama’s nuts off. By alienating leaders of his own party, Obama showed he was willing to express his true beliefs, even if it meant pissing off his base.
 
The perfect example of Obama succeeding where John Kerry utterly failed is the photo released by each campaign showing the sporty side of its respective candidate. The Obama campaign put out a picture of the senator in sweats, shooting hoops. Yup. That looks like something Obama would do. Reminds me of Ronald Reagan riding a horse. We are seeing, or at least think we’re seeing, a candid moment in the candidate’s life.
 
That’s in stark contrast to the pictures of John Kerry displaying his groovy windsurfing skills. He looked like a middle-aged millionaire trying to feign athleticism.
 
So who wins the 2008 election? I haven’t A clue. The more important question is what it all means to you. That I can answer.
 
What draws a nation to a leader is the same thing that draws people–a new friend, a new woman, a new employer — to you. So never play a role. Never put on an act. With authenticity comes success and happiness. Just ask Bill Clinton.

In the magazine, there’s a venn diagram of Authenticity and I thought it was real cool as well. I’m glad to see that there’s nothing in authenticity about being compassionate to everyone’s problems, or having elaborate goals as solving world peace. 
The venn diagram is made up of Transparency, Trustworthiness and Self-Awareness. You’re sincere if you are transparent and trustworthy. You’re generous if you’re trustworthy and self-aware. You’re ideological if you’re transparent and self-aware. You’re authentic if you have all three traits. 

So this is my first post. This blog is simply for me to list thoughts that cross my mind. I hope that you can relate to them, but if not. oh well.

So i just read an article in the Oct 27, 2008 issue of Newsweek, and I just found out that Choi Jin Sil had committed suicide on Oct 2, 2008. The article mentioned how “cyberviolence” played a huge role in her recent depression, and a wave of hatred has entered the Korean public (via words, internet posts, comments etc.).

How sad.

For those of you who don’t know, Choi Jin Sil is a Korean actress. She’s been around since the late 1980’s and she was considered one of the best actresses of South Korea. Her nickname was “The Nation’s Actress.” So, for the longest time, she was revered, loved, and admired by the public. However, recently she found herself the subject of ugly rumors on the internet ranging from cosmetic surgery to her involvement in the suicide of another actor who had collected over $2 million in debt. 
Needless to say, she suffered substantially and, earlier this month, took her own life. What a shame. What have the people done. They traumatized The Nation’s Actress with malicious words, hiding behind the cowardly medium of the internet. 

Here at Claremont, we’ve experienced a similar phenomenon. A couple weeks ago, Claremont Confessions, an internet forum where ” Claremonters could vent, rant, talk, to their peers about things that might otherwise be considered taboo,” opened up to the community. The site was created to write anonymously on the internet about certain issues on a “controlled, semi-private environment than on an unmoderated, public site (as was happening and gaining momentum at the time.” I guess they had the right idea, but the site soon escalated to ugly rumors, hurtful comments, and inappropriate, and often false, content. Thanks to the anonymity, people could afford to say whatever they wanted, without fear of consequence, and they let it all out. 
It was pathetic.
Posts called certain girls sluts, ranked the hotness of guys, and listed the freshman girls who were easy to get into bed. People would say that they never looked at the site or would consciously avoid any contact with the content, but there were definitely people who took that shit personally. Feelings were hurt, self-esteems were shot, and a sense of insecurity rose among campus.
Now i’m not writing this to protect those who were hurt nor to defend those who had false comments stated about them. I don’t care about that. People are dumb and will say stupid things and there is really nothing to do about that. Generally, you can’t stop someone from saying what’s on their mind, so if you read something hurtful on those sites, get over it. 
I’m writing to talk about the issue of self-image. We are so worried about what others think about us, and its a serious hindrance in our daily lives. Of course, if someone close to you says something about you, offers constructive criticism, or simply shits on you for something you had done, you should definitely take that to heart. However, you shouldn’t listen to comments on an internet site where people are protected by anonymity. I had read on one of these sites, under the topic: Hottest couples at CMC?, that Wendy and I were one of them. Wendy and I do not go out, but in fact she dates one of my suitemates. Obviously someone made some ignorant comment about how two koreans who have some proximity are dating (idiot.). To top the cake off, the next post said “Jeff is a 4 out of 10.” At this, I had a very good laugh. Sure, there was an initial sting, but then, the thought that someone was sitting in front of their computer, eagerly reading this website, encounters this post, take some consideration to the thought of me, and then rate my looks was very amusing to me. 
I blew it off. I admit that I’m no Brad Pitt, but I know, as should you, that there’s much more to me than my looks. I looked to what I have accomplished, what I want to accomplish, my friends, my surroundings, and my character to know that I’m not doing half bad. I should probably be rated a 5 out of 10 then. 
I hope the world stops obsessing over what trivial people think of each other. I can write about how I hope there will be less hate in the world and how love prevails, but I know that people will be mean, selfish, inhumane, etc. Once you accept this sad truth, you can start working to distance yourself from it and realizing that what they say really doesn’t matter and ultimately doesn’t affect your life. Do what makes you happy, and happiness will soon follow. Sounds obvious, but it’s surprising to see how many people doubt it.