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3rd place in Derby #151: Shirt You’d Wear to a Job Interview , with 689 votes!

You give your all at work. It’s you who keeps the place running. You’ve got years of accumulated institutional wisdom. No one else really understands what you do, or how essential it is.

You worry all the time about how the company would fare should something happen to you. Who would oversee your projects? Who would take the calls from your clients?

Lucky for the company, you’ve had the foresight to document everything. You’ve got all your procedures and protocols written out in a bunch of three-ring binders so if they ever have to figure it out without you (Odin forbid), they’ll have extensive reference volumes to guide them.

How could that be enough, though? With all the intricate ins and outs of your job, it’s impossible your binders cover everything, no matter how many there are. You wish you’d been grooming a successor. That process could have taken years. After all, how long did it take you to accumulate all this expertise? Honestly, what’s going to happen to this place once you’re gone?

We’ll tell you what’s going to happen: They’re going to cart all your binders down to the Dumpsters and some temp will take over wherever you left off, and it’ll be about as disruptive as having to switch to a new pen when the one you’re writing with runs out of ink.

Wear this shirt: while hard at work on your most important projects, which aren’t even marginally important to anyone but you.

Don’t wear this shirt: after you’ve been dead more than a couple decades. It’ll get rank.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m going to get this right if it kills me.”

We call this color: Worked Into An Early Grave-y Navy